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The Twelve Inch (Disco/80s)'s avatar

Mark, this is one of the most beautiful and powerful posts I’ve read in a long time. There’s a lot to unpack, but let me start by congratulating you on 31 years of sobriety, a birthday truly worth celebrating.

Your post touched me deeply because alcohol, and the way it can quietly take hold of a life, has been on my mind for a long time. I’m a late Baby Boomer, or maybe an early Gen X’er, and in my generation, as well as my parents’, alcohol is deeply normalized, even romanticized. We tell stories of wild nights as if they’re badges of honour. We laugh about summers where no one remembers how the night ended. And most dangerously, we convince ourselves we can still drive after several drinks.

I played along too, until a colleague of mine slipped into a coma after a binge. He made up a story at first, but eventually confided in me. What struck me most was how familiar his road to that moment felt. It made me realise how subtly alcohol, and drugs, can take control of your life before you even notice.

His story has a good ending: he got sober and stayed sober. But it stayed with me.

Ten months ago, my husband Marc also stopped drinking. He’d lost his job and decided to reorient his life completely, going back to school for something entirely new. He wanted to give it everything he had, and that meant getting proper sleep, every night. So, from one day to the next, he stopped drinking.

At first, his plan was to stay sober until the end of his first-year exams. But when we decided to visit his father in Spain over the summer (we are here now), a trip usually full of big family gatherings and lots of wine, he announced he wouldn't restart drinking alcohol. I couldn’t be prouder. And honestly, I’m seriously thinking of following his example.

We were never what you’d call problem drinkers. Weekend evenings, a pre-dinner apéritif, a glass or two of wine at dinner, that was our norm. But during a long stretch at home after Marc lost his job, we noticed how easily that “norm” could slide into something else. And we’ve seen it in our friends and family too, the way alcohol is treated as essential, expected.

Here in Spain, we’ve seen how people react to Marc’s sobriety: surprise, disbelief, even mockery. “Not even one glass?” they ask. “Come on, what harm can it do?” They don’t mean any harm, but it's not ok. Only yesterday, I told him how upsetting it is to watch people you love not fully understand your choice.

As for me, I still drink occasionally, a single glass, and never when it’s just the two of us. But those sober months I’ve tried (during the past year) have shown me how good it feels on the other side: clearer, healthier, lighter. And I’m more convinced than ever that a life without alcohol could be better.

So thank you, Mark. Your post didn’t just resonate, it affirmed what I’ve been feeling. You reminded me that there’s strength in the choice to live differently, and that sharing your story can have a bigger impact than you know.

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Andres's avatar

This was beautiful! First off, huge congratulations on your sobriety anniversary. I can only begin to imagine the amount of passion and hard work you must have put and continue to put into this achievement.

I knew the band but I didn't know the song. I loved the melody, and the timing of those lyrics couldn't have been better for you considering what you were going through at the time.

Thank you for sharing your story and those of others, for opening up in the way you did and for encouraging so many others who may be going through tough times.

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